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Practicing Glitchcraft: Final Fantasy VII and XIV


Final Fantasy has a big year in store. Final Fantasy XV, World of Final Fantasy, a VII remake (next year), and a movie are all on the way. So let’s see if we can’t turn the excitement up high enough to limit break levels by doing exactly that to two of the series’s games: breaking them. But first, a history lesson.

Final Fantasy released in Japan on the Famicom in December 1987 and was so named because SquareSoft thought it would be the company’s last hurrah before shutting down. Instead it became one of the most celebrated RPG series in the entire world. Fun fact: it’s been re-released on 10 more systems besides the Famicom/NES, a record matched only by Final Fantasy IV.

Both of these iconic heroes believe their game will be glitchier. We'll see who wins very soon.
Both of these iconic heroes believe their game will be glitchier. We’ll see who wins very soon.

In addition to the main series, there have been countless side series and spin-offs as well — Tactics, the Chocobo spin-offs, Dissidia, Crystal Chronicles — far too many to list here (but not here). The main games, however, total fifteen (including the soon-to-be-released game) over the span of nearly 30 years.

Still awake? Good, because it’s time to barbecue this sacred cow. A glitch video appears! (It’s 24 minutes long, so stock up on Potions and Phoenix Downs before entering.)

4-8 Productions takes viewers through not only some of the more interesting glitches of FFVII, but also shows off some odd bits and bobs as well. Who wants a date with Barret? Come on, you know you want to! The glitches themselves start at the 9:50 mark, though the oddities segment is worth seeing due to the extreme silliness of most of the tricks. The glitches, on the other hand, run the gamut from amusing to useful to game-crashing to being utterly pointless programming mistakes. Equipment that doesn’t raise your stats like it says? Skipping the attack on Midgar by walking out of a cutsecene? Really, now.

Want more? In that case, here’s a FFXIV glitch video.

Runic XIV has posted several map glitches for the game, which include locations like Mor Dhona, East Shroud, Central Thanalan, Gold Saucer, and eastern La Noscea. There are also ways to get out of bounds in some areas, screw with animations and some enemies, and, as always, exploit the mechanics for personal gain. Gee, 14 games in and it’s still being held together by digital duct tape. Tsk-tsk.

Yes, 2016 promises to be a wonderful year to be a Final Fantasy player and a fine opportunity for the uninitiated to dive in and see what they’ve been missing. With any luck, the FFVII Remake and newest game will be full of ridiculous errors to enjoy.

What game should be accused of Practicing Glitchcraft next? Cast your verdict in the comments!

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