Humour News

New English Heritage Marketing Is Sending A Confusing Message


Some new English Heritage marketing has been shared recently, I picked it up on Twitter, and it seems to be sending a rather confusing message to parents this year. The charity manage and maintain over 400 historic places, monuments, and buildings around the UK, something they’re fantastic out. The locations they preserve are not only important for future generations in terms of historical significance, but they’re also great days out for families. Being a good way to get kids out of the house is something that English Heritage prides themselves on, which is clear in the below piece of marketing that prompted this article. Check it out and read on for more.


Clearly the message here is something along the lines of getting the kids out of the house and away from their games. Really though, the message could be take a number of ways, so I thought I’d explore them.

Murder Your Child’s Games


The bulk of this advertisement is taken up by that image of a sword going right through a PlayStation controller, I can’t quite see which one but it looks like a DualShock 4 to me. While there is a little banner about signing up to a direct debit for your membership, my eyes don’t go below the tip of the sword. One way you could interpret this image, as some parents may, is as propaganda for all parents to destroy their children’s games and consoles. The sword is pretty vicious, so maybe there’s even a prize for being the most historically relevant with your form of destruction. I know of people with World War 2 bomb casings that would do a number on my Xbox One, or a crossbow that would nail a Switch to a tree.

Bring A Controller For A 20 Percent Discount


Nowhere on this marketing material does it explain how you get a 20 percent discount on your membership. Yes, the thinkers among you may be able to surmise that the discount is applied to all memberships paid by annual direct debit. but it doesn’t say that anywhere does it? No, instead I think that this image could be taken by some as an exclusive offer, a 20 percent membership discount for an entire year, as long as you bring one of your children’s controllers to sacrifice.

English Heritage Games Preservation


To be honest, this one is wishful thinking. The combination of games and history screams preservation to me, particularly because this is a charity that specialises in preserving history. One way that you could take the marketing is as an advertisement for an upcoming video game preservation project within English Heritage. I think this would be fantastic, and something I’d sign up for a year’s membership for immediately. Sadly, I don’t think that the people who made this know that games are now old enough to count as antiques, and should be preserved for their historical significance just like buildings and monuments.

The War On Games


That last one got a bit too real, so let’s end on a slightly more amusing note. I imagine that the person who created this marketing doesn’t really understand what games are, and the fact that they’re a huge industry, let alone the possibility that they can be fun and add to someone’s life. This person also seems to have manipulated the DualShock image somehow, because it doesn’t look wide enough to my eyes, but that is definitely a touch pad in the middle.

Regardless, I think this person was told that English Heritage is going to wage a war on games, ending them for good and taking all that money for building preservation and park benches. This is their idea of chopping off the head of a rival’s emissary and sending it back on a silver platter. This is a drive for all members and potential members to rise up and attack games in every form they find them. If they manage to make a kill or two, they can get a discount to the next year’s membership. Maybe even a free cake. Not the tea though, that’s extra.

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