The most unexpected game movie failures are usually ambitious and anticipated projects, which have millions of dollars supporting them in marketing, huge casts and production costs that would make most people wince.
Video game movies have long been a point of contention. The really good ones are amazing, but the really bad ones? They’re the kind of movies that you wouldn’t show your worst enemy. When given a large IP and tasked with bringing it to the silver screen, one of two things can happen: either the movie fails to deliver on its promises or, rarely, it manages to earn its budget back and reward viewers accordingly with a great movie worthy of the title.
Here are the most unexpected game movie failures.
Disclamer: In this article, we define a ‘failure’ as any movie which fails to earn back its budget.
1. Doom
Budget: $60-70 million
Box Office: $58.7 million
Alien-inspired Species director Andrzej Bartkowiak, A.S.C helms this ambitious movie adaptation of the best-selling genre-defining demon-shooter. Karl Urban assumes the role of John “Reaper” Grimm/ Doomguy as he and his team respond to a distress call from Dr Carmack, played here by Hocus Pocus alumni, Doug Jones.
Upon arriving at the distress call, it becomes very clear that all is not well. Their destination is Mars, where they find all manner of demons and ghoulies, all in need of a short swift visit from a BFG. The movie follows the group in a by-the-numbers Alien-esque pick-em-off format which evolves slowly into all-out and poorly CGI’d corridor battles that lack the imagination and ingenuity of the source material.
Doom released into a world which had been treated to action-epics like Saving Private Ryan and – more tonally-relevant – Blade. Needless to say, it had big boots to fill.
Unfortunately it did not manage to do this. While the FPS sequences paid homage to the source material and received recognition for this, with a Rotten Tomatoes review saying “The FPS sections are sure to please fans of the game”, in spite of this, most critics were unimpressed, with Roger Egbert hilariously stating “Doom is like some kid came over and is using your computer and won’t let you play”
With world-wide acclaim, a decades old IP and a cast of some of the greatest cinematic icons of our time, the job was simple. Create a movie that captures the imagination of the players, and tells an interesting enough story to keep casual viewers watching. This copy-paste action-movie couldn’t even manage that. No amount of firepower or Richard Brakes hilarious over-acting was ever going to save this movie from the video game graveyard.
2. Alone In The Dark
Budget: $20 Million
Box Office: $12.7 million
Cited by many as “the movie that shouldn’t exist”, Alone In The Dark is yet-another Uwe Boll movie, that fails to deliver any of the promises made throughout its 96 minute run-time. It is loosely based on the plot of the games and follows Edward Carny, a paranormal investigator as he suffers nightmares about hiding from extra-terrestrial-looking beings and decides to try and uncover what these dreams mean with the help of his girlfriend – and urban museum curator – Aline Cedric, voiced here by the paradoxical, Tara Reid. Carnby’s performance is provided by a tired looking and bored-sounding Christian Slater. Slater approaches every scene with all the zeal and excitement of someone filling out a tax-return. Every scene in Alone In The Dark is an exercise in Uwe Boll’s malignant narcissistic personality which pervades throughout his entire filmography. Uwe Boll, finances his own movies and manages only to get them greenlit, as he pays or profits entirely on the back of the movies success.
The concept for Alone In The Dark should have delivered a cross-between John Wick’s lone gunman nature, Constantine’s rebellious attitude and The Matrix’s Neos thirst for knowledge and understanding. (Yes I think Keanu Reeves should have been cast as Edward Carnby).
Unfortunately what actually unfolds is 96 minutes of missed-opportunities, bad-acting and last, but by no means least, some of the worst CGI and lighting I have ever had the misfortune to experience.
Alone in the dark? No, but if you enjoyed this movie, you are certainly alone in your critique.
3. Postal
Budget: $15 million
Box Office: $146,741
The Postal series has long garnered the attention of the ‘cancel violent video games’ crowd, due to its – shall we say – mature content. Whether you are urinating in a police officers face, or beating the boss to death with a ****, one thing is for sure, Postal is a fun time. It would stand to reason that a Postal movie should result in a Deadpool-esque carnage fest. It was never going to be a good movie, by Scorsese standards for instance, but it should at least have been fun.
No-one here is saying that Postal was ever going to be anything more than a schlock-fest. Full of stupid and ill-timed jokes, bad-acting and even worse set design, but I don’t think anyone ever expected this.
The Postal movie lacks the self-awareness which tends to excel movies into parody and spoof status, think end-of-days Scary Movie and you’re on the right track.
With the right cast, the right director and the right set-designer, this movie could have been one for the ages. Unfortunately, even the talents of the late Verne Troyer and the always hilarious, J.K Simmons, couldn’t save this movie from the pit-of-no-return that is, the box office bombsite.
J.K should definitely have turned this role down, as it stands to be his worst reviewed and received movie to-date. Such a shame that a man who could deliver a role as iconic as J. Jonah. Jameson in Sam Raimi’s Spiderman, feels the need to even entertain roles like the Postal movie. Next time? Just throw that script in the trash.
Sidenote: yet another Uwe Boll movie, starting to see a pattern yet?
3. Far Cry
Budget: $30 million
Box Office: $743,634
We are three-for-three with Uwe Boll returning to direct the German action movie, Far Cry. Loosely based on the first game it features iconic and memorable characters like Krieger, Valerie Cardinal, and of course, Jack Carver.
Another movie, where Uwe has played some of the game, but during the run-time it becomes increasingly obvious he never actually finished it. It wastes the wonderful setting and lore of the Far Cry games remote jungle by focusing for too long on irrelevant shots while missing the point of the intimacy of a game like Far Cry.
A movie based on Far Cry should have given the best jungle-based adventure since Predator or maybe the original Sniper movie, starring Tom Berenger. Again, Uwe shows that he has no understanding of cinematic presence, shot-chemistry or acting formula and delivers yet-another bargain-bin movie, that honestly, isn’t worth your time.
4. Werewolves Within
Budget: $6.5 million
Box Office: $991,898
Werewolves Within is a 2021 horror comedy starring comedy underdog Sam Richardson. The movie is based on the social-deduction game of the same name, whereby players must identify the killer amongst their ranks before they all meet a grisly end. While the ‘werewolf’ must remain undetected and kill everyone else before they are discovered. Essentially, it is where the Among Us formula is lifted almost-wholesale.
This one hurts.
The reason it hurts? Because it was a genuinely GOOD movie. It had pacing problems in places and the acting at times, was – at best – laughable and – at worst – amateur, but you can tell that everyone on set is enjoying themselves and it is a shame to see that their efforts and enthusiasm were not rewarded in sales.
The movie released and received generally favorable reviews with Variety calling it “playfully thrilling” and the “Los Angeles Times” describing it as “both funny, and snappy”. It even stood, at release, to be the only videogame movie to be certified ‘fresh’ on Rotten Tomatoes.
The movie received essentially no marketing due to its low budget cast, regardless of being produced by Ubisoft Film and Television and distributed by IFC films. IFC have worked in the past with companies such as Metro Goldwynn-mayer and Universal, so their pedigree is not in question here.
The failure for this movie falls entirely down to the lack of belief in the final product. In a world where Cocaine Bear can gain the positive response it did, Werewolves: Within could have proved that a movie doesn’t have to be good to be a great time, if given the chance.
5. Monster Hunter
Budget: $60 million
Box Office: $44.5 million
Following the game series of the same name. Monster Hunter is a 2018 action-packed monster movie with a stunning visual style and genre-defining cinematography. It follows the story of squad leader Artemis and her soldier group as they are transported from our world, to a new world. This new world has monsters and horrors roaming the land and they must exercise caution and wits in order to survive.
With a cast boasting Milla Jovovich and Ron Perlman. Being directed by Paul W.S Anderson, and having full backing from Capcom and exclusive rights to the franchise. This movie had all the potential of being the next big monster movie franchise. Unfortunately, it was bogged down with production issues, multiple rewrites, re-shoots, and a completely incomprehensible narrative which relies too much on ‘shock and awe’ and not enough on substance.
The movie lacks an identity. In one scene you are watching a monster-movie with Jovovich back on top butt-kicking form, in the next, it is a quiet-moment Alien-esque slasher flick and only a few scenes later, it could be a cross-dimensional successor to Avatar.
In failing to define itself, the movie falls short and manages to make the viewer bored and uninterested in proceedings as characters die in set-piece after set-piece, with nothing to offer than a few stock sound effects and CGI blood effects.
With a worldwide audience in the 100 millions, the cast it had and the publicity it received, this movie should easily have made its budget back.
6. Super Mario Bros. (1993)
Budget: $46-48 million
Box Office $38.9 million
For the majority of this list, I have tried to steer clear of the obvious conversation pieces in videogame movie failures, as I believe we talk about them too much. However, where would we be with a list like this, without the one that started it all? The one based on a game series credited with gamings revival and the one that offers the largest audience of any game ever? without further ado, I give to you, the Super Mario Bros. Movie (1993).
Offering comedic gems like Mrs. Doubtfire, animated classics like The Nightmare Before Christmas and oscar-winning blockbuster, Schindler’s List, 1993 was a good year for movies. Even the bad movies which were released in 1993 were enjoyable enough to become cult classics later – I’m looking at you Leprechaun and Dennis The Menace.
1993 also infamously birthed the Super Mario Bros. movie. Starring a pre- Carlito’s Way John Leguizamo and screen legend Bob Hoskins. The movie follows the two brothers Mario and Luigi who run a plumbing business in Brooklyn. The brothers discover a parallel world populated by intelligent dinosaur descendants – think Planet Of The Apes. The dinosaurs in question have plans to invade our world and rule over mankind. The two brothers are then tasked with defending earth and battling the evil Koopa king and rescuing the princess, Daisy.
All that sounds amazing right? Sounds like a blockbuster in the making right?
Unfortunately not. 1993 audiences were not impressed. The movie collected $8.5 million during its opening weekend and ranked fourth place in the box office. The movie was panned for being a “wildly deficient movie” by the Los Angeles Times and the low-quality of writing which even the legendary Bob Hoskins cannot save in the end.
I guess the princess is on her own on this one?