The Avengers have been saving earth for quite some time now and, with the success of Age of Ultron, this doesn’t seem to be changing any time soon. But while the general public is drooling over Chris Hemsworth, we’ve remained adamant that video games have the mightiest heroes, and to prove it we’ve compiled a list of our own replacements for each member of the Avengers. Each resembles their movie/comic book counterparts in some fashion, and each will become a part of our own team of Avengers.
Captain America – Mike Hagger (Final Fight)
Why have a captain when you could have a mayor? A mayor who’s a professional wrestler! In the vicious jungle of crime that is Metro City, Mike Hagger rules with an iron, but fair, fist. His city is overrun by the Mad Gear gang who try to bribe Mike–a poor choice–then they kidnap his daughter. Of course this prompted the mayor to shed his suit, take to the streets topless, and to start piledriving criminals into the ground. Images have also cropped up on the internet with him piledriving a shark, and we’ve got a suspicion he’s been mixing some super-soldier formula into his protein shakes.
Iron Man – Dingo Egret (Zone of the Enders 2)
Samus would’ve been the second choice for this role, with her multiple suits and range of weapons being not unlike Tony Stark’s. However, the similarities between Dingo Egret and Iron Man are pretty hard to ignore. First in terms of powers, Samus can’t fly! Fortunately, Dingo’s mech Jehuty is quite similar to Stark’s suit; both fly with grace and precision and have a good variety of weapons. Although, Jehuty does have a kickass sword, and his design is epic (that’s the Japanese for you). Also, like Tony, who has a ticking time bomb at his core, Dingo has an inescapable link to technology: he’s unable to leave his suit without dying. With Konami focusing on mobile games he’ll probably be free for the job.
Hulk – Asura (Asura’s Wrath)
While Blanka is close in appearance to the green wrecking machine, he falls short in terms of power. But, someone who equals and then surpasses him by a fantastically ridiculous amount is Asura. Whereas Hulk is fuelled by anger, Asura’s power is supplemented by his terrifying wrath. He faces his foes with freakish strength, taking down planet-sized enemies and full fleets of ships. He’s an unlikely hero, but he does always fight for good, and thank goodness for that!
Thor – Kratos (God of War)
One of the best moments in the first Avengers movie was when Thor faced off against Hulk. It was two powerhouses beating each other in a nearly evenly matched brawl. But, who would face off against Asuma? Kratos, the demigod, seems like he’d be more than eager for the task. Whereas Thor uses a blunt hammer he can recall at any time, Kratos has his signature blades to slice up his foes. He has shown no mercy against the gods, and would show none to a fiend like Loki; he’d have him gutted in a matter of seconds, no problem.
Hawkeye – Wander (Shadow of the Colossus)
Garrett from Thief came in a close second for the role as Hawkeye, but Wander seems the better choice. He isn’t the type to stray away from otherworldly beasts, managing to take down a multitude of massive giants with nothing but a sword and bow. He mightn’t match the grace of Hawkeye, his effectiveness with the bow is outstanding; moments of precision include when he must shoot at the eye of a sand serpent while luring it on horseback, and aiming for a tiny spot on a foe while standing atop its arm. Also, he has a noble steed that can survive a ridiculous fall with nothing but a broken ankle.
Black Widow – Joanna Dark (Perfect Dark)
Both have a sprinkling of darkness in their names, and both are experts with weapons and hand-to-hand combat. They’ve also both had to take on aliens who invaded earth; Black Widow faced off against the forces set loose by Loki, and Joanna finds herself at the centre of a conflict between two alien races known as the Skeder and Maians. What also makes Joanna Dark an obvious choice is that her dark, tight suit and short red hair very closely resemble Scarlett Johansson’s foxy Black Widow.
As a Team?
What would they work like as a team? Probably terribly; Hagger doesn’t seem like the most patient of fellows, and would clash quite quickly with Kratos. Jehuty will probably try and self-destruct, and Asura will feel frustrated with the whole situation leading to the destruction of earth.
But, if they did work together, the concoction of their attacks and abilities would be staggering to watch. Asura tossing a twin blade-bearing Kratos at a collection of foes. Wander and Joanna firing at foes back to back, one with precise bow shots, and the other with her deadly arsenal of varying weapons. Jehuty giving his allies some vertical lift, throwing Wander up to good vantage points. At the centre of it all would be Hagger barking orders and piledriving unsuspecting foes.
What would make them work together, though? Perhaps a diabolical villain who threatens all their lives?
“In my talons, I shape clay, crafting life forms as I please. If I wish, I can smash it all. Around me is a burgeoning empire of steel. From my throne room, lines of power careen into the skies of Earth. My whims will become lightning bolts that raze the mounds of humanity. Out of the chaos, they will run and whimper, praying for me to end their tedious anarchy. I am drunk with this vision. God: the title suits me well.”
SHODAN (System Shock 1+2)
Sounds very Ultronish doesn’t it? SHODAN (Sentient Hyper-Optimized Data Access Network), an A.I. in the Shock series, would make the perfect villain against any team of foes. In her appearances, she’s stranded on a space station but is trying to enter Earth’s computer networks. If she was successful, she’d probably produce an army of mutants, machines, and arm many nuclear bombs.
We’d need to have the team together, and to have them prepared to face the deadly threat. The above team could put the fight to SHODAN, but first they’d need someone to envisage them as a team, and someone who is used to dealing with nuclear threats? Perhaps someone who bears an uncanny resemblance to Nick Fury? A Big Boss?
What do you think, though? Is this the team you’d pick, or would you switch them around? We had plenty of ideas, and we’re sure you have plenty more. Share who your dream team would be in the comments below.